My Life.Feeding 3 dogs & 11 fish

Do you remember when we watched in awe as Scotty beamed Captain Kirk up to the Star Ship Enterprise? How cool was that? How unbelievable was that??  Well thirty some years later this concept is closer to a reality than we might think.

Pardon me if I repeat myself when I tell you that grandchildren are on the way. Since our children do not live close enough to visit on a daily basis I took a giant step in technology and purchased a web camera.  It arrived in mid January via UPS. The box sat on my kitchen counter for several weeks. It was for me more technology to figure out! I needed the time and concentration to sit down and get it up and running.

Then I went to Seattle for Sheryl's baby shower and sat in on a Video visit with Heath's mom Jane. I returned home and set up my camera. It has been a learning curve but I have somewhat mastered the technology. Heath talked me through the set up and we had our first video conference.

Besides learning how to set up the camera I also had to add AIM (Aol Instant Messenger) to my desk top and learn how to connect to a Video Chat as it is called. Done, done done!!

On Saturday the computer "rang" and it was Sheryl and Heath inviting us to a Video Chat. We connected and Ira who had not seen the baby bump since December got a good look.

Now that I was up and running I wanted Alyssa and Vince to do the same and this time it was me who talked them through the process. We were excited to see an updated version of their baby bump.

My next project is to connect with more of the family so that we will be able to see as well as hear each other as we talk long distance. Adding an extra sense to the communication makes way more sense. I also have the task of improving the picture that I see on my screen.

But all in time. For now mission accomplished. We will be able to visit with the grandkids via the computer and in person so that we can see these precious beings as they grow and learn!

I just returned from Seattle and the first of two baby showers. I had a wonderful weekend with Sheryl and Heath as well as with the girls, Sheryl's friends. Sheryl has friends from College, Residency and time spent in San Francisco and I know them all!!

Then there were the new Seattle friends. Heath has some college friends who lived in Seattle and through these friends, Sheryl has met a lovely group of ladies. Old and new friends gathered together to celebrate the upcomming birth of my first grandchild.

I arrived in Seattle bearing gifts, a hand knit sweater set and a baby book. The sweater set was knit by my mother and matched the one that she had knitted for Sheryl. Sheryl said that it was the best gift that she got!

There were actually two baby books, one from the past and one for the future. Ira and I gave Sheryl her baby book and then purchased a new one for the new baby.

The past baby book had been packed and up moved eleven times and miraculously it was intact. I hadn't looked inside the box for a long time and was amazed  when I found an old notebook that contained very sentimental information. In Ira's handwriting I found the timing and length of my contractions as we waited to go to the hospital. And written by me was the full story her birth from the breaking ofmy water to the baby on the belly. I wrote about that fact with the words that it was "the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen".

Inside of the actual book we found a sample of her baby hair, our hospital bracelets, an old (but not used) diaper and detailed writings about Sheryl and her behaviors, and activities, monthly for the first year and yearly from then on. There were yearly letters expressing out love and joy. Some were in my handwriting and others written by Ira.There were invitations to her birthday parties along with descriptions of the parties. As I read the baby book I revisited her childhood.

By rereading this info I rediscovered how good she was as a baby! We  als remebered how she and our first dog Teri interacted. When Teri approached Sheryl laughed. (yes I have to bring a dog into the mix!)

It was both hard and easy to transfer this book from out house to hers but I am so glad that together we could read about her birth and life as a child just a few weeks before she gives birth to her own child.

Yes I have a baby book for Alyssa but I have not yet opened it to revisit the details of her babyhood. That will happen just before I pack it to take with me to her shower in February.  I can't wait to revive the memories of baby Alyssa that happend twenty eight years ago.

Web Sites like this one are commonly being used to update and keep track of the life of a new baby. I think that the value is in the fact that with our age of technology friends and relatives far and near can stay in touch with the lives of these precious new beings.

Luckily they are still selling baby books and for good reasons. There is nothing like an heirloom that is hand made by a parent. Our daughter has given us many things and we have given her many things but perhaps in this stage of our lives, the gift of passing this book onto my daughter and her husband is one that truely comes from the heart.

As soon as I recover from this first transfer I will open up the next book and again revisit one of the happiest times of our lives. When I started these baby books soo long ago I had no idea how much it would mean to me to be able to hand it over to my daughters and sons in law.

It is a new tradition that can be passed down from generation to generation as the written words and history are handed from mother and father to child and it is my wish that the kids will continue the tradition!!

It was my intention to tape the Inauguration of our 44 th President and view it later in the day. Turning on the television and setting my DVR to record, I was ready to go! The problem was that once my eyes made contact with the screen I could not tear myself away from the view of the hoards of people who stood waiting in the freezing weather to greet the newest president of our mighty nation.

There I was standing in my kitchen and all I could do was send a fast email to my next appointment as I emotionally embraced the fact of a new hope that this administration offers.

A few minutes after 9:00 AM PST they announced that by law we now had a new President. I watched as this forty four year old man stumbled through his oath and pledge that he made to this country. I listened as he eloquently spoke to our country about his plans and hopes for our country.

We needed this!!!! After so much doom and gloom that has been spread over the economy and the war on terrorism, we needed this!! I believe that when we focus on a positive outcome, good things will happen.

Now it is our turn. The people of this country need to start taking responsibility for our sometimes irresponsible decisions and make their own positive changes. As we begin to make these positive changes we can watch out for great things to happen.

How do I know this will happen? My mood changed last week when I viewed the efforts of a group of American Heroes. Our country watched in awe as a pilot and his crew landed a plane in the middle of New York City on the Hudson River.

We watched in awe as all the right things happened at just the perfect time allowing  the passengers and crew a safe and sound exit. Instead of sadness over the loss of lives, we had the opportunity to experience the feeling of kismet.

Times they are a changing and as we stand at the beginning of a new Era we must all remember that feeling of watching things go right.  The more we believe that we have the power to create positive energy, the better our lives will be!!

It was January 4, 2009 and I was fast asleep. Ira had left the day before to attend a meeting in Florida and so the bed was filled with me and the dogs.

 I awoke to the sound of the ringing of my telephone and as I grabbed the receiver my eyes focused on the clock which read 3:30 AM. An early morning call is rarely good news and this call was no exception to the rule. I heard the tearful voice of my mother on the other end of the  telling me that my brother had just died.

It had been seven years since I saw my brother and almost two years since we talked. The last time we talked was before and after my mother had a seven hour surgery. My brother had in his mind exceptional excuses for the fact that he could not come to Florida and see his mother. I kept him informed and in return he stayed home with his excuses.

The timing of the call left me a bit disoriented and I did not begin to process the news until I hung up the phone. My first reaction was quite unsettling as the only available company were my three adorable dogs. I lay in bed thinking about the news and although it took me awhile, I finally settled down and went back to sleep.

That in itself might appears a bit cold but as Ira says, the nature of our relationship made his loss easier to accept. The next morning I called his home to talk to his family and spoke with his oldest daughter. She refused to put her mother on the phone telling me that her family was the most important thing and that the three of them, the two daughters and their mother were all that mattered.

With that said I realized that in their eyes we, my brothers extended family, was nothing. Sadly they learned that from their mother and father.

I did have the need to tell people that my brother had died for I was alone and feeling odd.  But I was uncomfortable about accepting their condolences. If anything, what I lost in my life was a relationship with my brother the child. Bottom line, without the love and connection, it is hard to feel the loss.

The hardest thing that a Mother has to face is the loss of her child and my mother now had to face this loss. With no funeral or memorial service to attend, there was simply no closure. Luckily my parents are not alone and their friends stepped up and honored their loss.

 Ira and I had a planned trip to visit my parents and by the time we arrived at their house my mother was doing OK. Sadly, my brother's decision to cut himself off made it easy to let him go.

So here is what is important. We, my husband, children and spouses are a part of a loving extended family who care about one another. My three other siblings and their families, my husband siblings and their families, my cousins and their families, my aunts and uncles and their families, my in-laws and our friends have connected and sent us comfort in the fact that they care about us and care about each other.

 Sadly the word sadly peppered this entry like a broken pepper shaker. It leaves me wondering at what point did he decide to cut us all out. I also wonder if there was anything that I could have done to improve our relationship.

I will never learn the answer to these questions for he is gone and there is not going back.  As a result of this loss my other siblings and I have taken the time to communicate about thoughts, feelings and memories of our lost brother. We reflected and remembered our brother as a family should. It has strengthened out own relationships and reminded us that we only have now to make things right!!!

Happy New Year to one and all!  I am so happy to be able to use this journal to communicate my thoughts and feelings and I am so happy that you choose to log on. Did you know that you can subscribe to my journal and get notification when I add an entry!!

We finally got in to see Marley and Me. We showed up  twice and faced sold out shows but yesterday I bought tickets through Fandango for the 5:20 PM showing on New Years Eve. The show was not sold out but, this time we drove to the busy theatre knowing that we would actually get into the movie.

If you haven't seen Marley and me make sure that you have a napkin or a tissue, especially if you have or have had a pet. The movie is funny, heartwarming and yes very sad. If you have loved and lost a pet I know that you have experienced both a sense of unconditional love and profound loss.

In the movie, we view the entire wonderful and wacky experience of life with Marley. I laughed until my side hurt and and silently sobbed as the cycle of life ended. I am sure that there was not a dry eye in the crowd.

We have had five dogs over the last almost thirty-seven years. We got married in June and one month later got our first girl, Terri who was a smart, well behaved, loving poodle.We got her from a breeder.

She lived as our first baby for fifteen and a half years.  At fifteen and a half, she was no longer herself. She could not see or hear and this dog who never messed in the house ended up having to spend time in the garage for she messed all over the house.

I finally knew it was time when after a grooming, she was so disoriented that she got out of her leash and could not find her way back to the car. Ira did the deed and not wanting to upset the kids, we did not properly honor and mourn our first girl.

It took awhile but five years later, exactly twenty years to the day that we adopted Teri, we took a ride out to the middle of no where and picked up Sadie our German Shepherd from another breeder. The contrast and learning curve was amazing. It is said that you are only given what you can handle and I guess we were meant to grow a bit over the thirteen years that Sadie lit up our lives.

She was an alpha dog. Her MO was to do it her way. She got herself in lots of trouble but we were her family and for thirteen years she provided us with an amazing amount of unconditional love and lots of laughter and joy. And, it was always comforting to open the front door holding on to the collar of a German Shepherd.

When Sadie was eight, we brought home a new puppy. Taiko was a three month old Japanese Chin and it was love at first sight. It was quite the sight to see Ira walking this ninety pound German Shepherd along side a six pound Chin.  And even funnier to see Taiko claiming our bed so that she could fight eye to eye with Sadie.

They spent five glorious years together. This time when it was time to let Sadie go we went as a family. The girls were grown and married so it was Ira, I and Taiko who went with Sadie to the Veterinarian. Saying good bye was very sad and we cried for days. The memory of it all mixed with the emotions of the movie allows me to cry even now as write these words.

Sadie had a big place in our heart that needed to be filled and the last three years left us as the proud dog parents of three Japanese Chins. Taiko was joined by Ping a few months after we lost Sadie. Two years later Marty, our first boy dog, quickly became a failed foster with a forever home.

 As our progression of love has expanded so has our ability to love, let go and grieve. Silent tears for our first dog transformed into open and deep mourning for our second. If they didn't provide such amazing love it would not be so hard to loose them.

For now, I will focus on the joy of living with three crazy dogs who rule our lives. I will rejoice in the fact that I wake up snuggled with the dogs while spitting out dog hair. I will laugh when I have to fill the dog food bowl that sits at the foot of our bed and enjoy our walks together. And I will love them so hard that when the time comes to let them go I will cry with tears of saddness and remember the joy.

One last thing. If you are thinking about expanding your family with a pet think about adoption. There are breed specific rescue organiztions (petfinders.org), the SPCA or your local pound.  Rescue Organizations foster their animals and can offer a clear insight on personalities and behaviors. When you choose these routes, you save a life.

NEVER....buy a puppy from a pet store. Their source is almost always puppy mills who not only inbreed but mistreat their animals. If you must buy a puppy, make sure that you can see the mother and father. Their behaviors are an advanced view of the puppies.

Hugs...Eileen